When a new child is welcomed into a family, there is a period of adjustment that the majority of families go through. However, when the child is deaf, it can complicate and add stress to this adjustment for parents unfamiliar with deafness. There are many issues involved with raising a deaf child, as seen in the various pages in this site and the many links and references this site offers.

Mental health issues are an important area to take into consideration when making decisions for and about your child. There are perspectives in which deaf children are viewed and the perspective you have has an effect on how your child develops socially and emotionally.

One such perspective is the medical/pathological persepective view which can see deafness as a disease, deficit, a communicative handicap. They may seek to cure or "fix" the problem in order to make the child "normal" like a hearing person. This can result in "devaluation and dehumanization of the individual and can inhibit his or her development" (Moores, p. 146)

Another perspective is to view the deaf child like any other child. A deaf child has needs like any other. They need all the things that hearing children need: communication, love, attention, a sense of belonging, encouragement, friendship, freedom, culture, choices, high expectations, morals, guidance, and an education. These things combine to make a complete child with a good self image. When needs are not met, they can have potentially devistating effects on the mental health of a deaf child or for that matter a hearing child.

Unfortunately, many parents are unfamiliar with deafness. The possible disappointment and the overwhelming task of learning about and making decisions regarding their deaf child can take its toll on the parent. A cycle that many parents go through that can be described as an acceptance cycle or as Dr. Larwood of San Jose State University calls it the "Good" Grief Cycle. The title refers to the fact that many parents go through a kind of grieving process while coming to terms with the sometimes shocking news of their child's deafness.

Everyone goes through something similar to this cycle but at different rates. Also, a person may fluctuate between stages or skip some stages all together. The cycle looks something like this:

1. Shock - disability is diagnosed

2. Depression - I can't go on, What's the use?

3. Denial - Not ME!

4. Guilt - If I'd only not taken those pills...

5. Shame - What will people think?

6. Isolation - I must protect my child from people

7. Panic - What will happen to my child? What will I do?

8. Anger - Why ME?!

9. Bargaining - Just let me get through this. Then no more, please.

10. Hope - Perhaps we will get through this.

11. Isolation - I must protect my child from people.

12. Acceptance - There will be days filled with anger and grief, and days when I will feel strength.

One important thing to remember about deaf children is that they are still children. They, like all children, need all of these things and more to develop a healthy sense of self. No matter what decision you make about how to educate and raise your child, they are still a human being, and YOUR child. Remember, children are eager to please their parents. They want and need your love. So, when making decisions about your child, remember the child and follow the child's lead. Each child is unique.

Books for further information:

Can't Your Child Hear? by Freeman, Boese, and Carbin.

References:

Moores, Daniel F., Educating the Deaf: Psycholgy, Principles and Practices.Houghton Mifflin Co. 1996.

Dr. L. Larwood. San Jose State University.